The Back to Basics Challenge! I'm going to do my best to lose 20 lbs by the time I arrive in Chicago for BOOBs 2.0 (big goal!) Here is my start weight: 192.8 (up a little, meh.)
Bullshit and Some Truth
7 years ago
Sunday, July 3, 2011
emotional roller coaster and challenge weigh in...
Well friends, I have to say things have been challenging in Jen-land for the last few days. I think it just finally hit me everything I have been through over the last month. I can function just fine and I don't even feel depressed- however, I have been crying all the time. Anytime I talk about my band, the infection, not knowing what is coming next... I just tear up and cry. Sometimes even just thinking about all of it makes me cry. I am NOT a crier. I usually can overcome obstacles with a positive attitude and determination. I'm a very positive thinker, glass is half full type of gal. This time and this one thing has been so challenging for me- I still haven't been able to wrap my brain around all of this. I did talk to my sister and my mom about it yesterday and I think I am more scared of not losing any more weight than I am about gaining it back. I've already been "stuck" at this weight for over a year. I cried myself to sleep on Friday, and yesterday I just gave in and took a Valium so that I could sleep- and I did, I slept really well. My husband is still being a saint, I love him so much and I am so thankful to have him by my side as I am going through all of this. I do think things will keep getting better, but for some reason that doesn't stop the tears. I just don't get it?? I went to a doctor's appointment on Friday with Dr. Julie- she has a band and specializes working with bariatric patients and in women's health/weight loss. She is fabulous! We talked about my band erosion and removal (of course I was crying). She prescribed me an appetite suppressant, which helped a lot yesterday. It was a really difficult day for me. I hope it is just what I need to get my head straight- not thinking about eating/food every second of the day is great. I have a follow up with her in 3 weeks. I will also be meeting with my band doctor in a couple of weeks- I want to know more about my band removal and what my stomach damage looked like and to find out if I am a candidate for the sleeve. So, yeah lots going on and I'm doing my best to hold it together. I've managed to type this all out with out a tear, so I'm going to move on now to something that I am actually looking forward to...
The Back to Basics Challenge! I'm going to do my best to lose 20 lbs by the time I arrive in Chicago for BOOBs 2.0 (big goal!) Here is my start weight: 192.8 (up a little, meh.)
The Back to Basics Challenge! I'm going to do my best to lose 20 lbs by the time I arrive in Chicago for BOOBs 2.0 (big goal!) Here is my start weight: 192.8 (up a little, meh.)
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You can lose that 20lbs before Chicago, I know you can.
ReplyDeleteI think you have done amazing through your band removal, I would be a hot mess if it was me. You are an inspiration!
Wish we were already in Chicago so I could give ya a hug, Jen. You're awesome, and you can do anything. :)
ReplyDeleteYou know what? I think you SHOULD cry. You NEED to cry. You are dealing with a craptastic thing that completely sucks and you are entitled to be afraid, anxious and mourn a little.
ReplyDeleteBe kind to yourself and keep leaning on the the amazing people you have around you. You will get through this and we'll be here to cheer you on all the way.
Cry Jen...keep crying until the tears dry up. You have that right. Crying is like taking your soul to the laundramat.
ReplyDeleteYou are a fighter...so nothing is going to keep you from moving forward to continued weight loss success.
I love ya...and when we get to Chicago i'm going to smother you in hugs and kisses.
I am glad you got that appetite suppressant, if you think that will help. Sometimes all we need is a little tool to assist!
ReplyDeleteI agree with each post above! Let it out, have a good 100 cries until you're cried out-- and then you'll be ready to move on, no one knows exactly how long things like this take.
ReplyDeleteAnd I was thinking about appetite suppresants and that it could be of help to you-- there are non-surgical options, so I am glad it sounds as though you're getting excellent care.
I cannot recall: have you seen a psychiatrist for an evaluation for depression? I think an antidepressant could help you too, if indicated... and wellbutrin has a know appetite suppression component, though it might not be the right way to go.
Anyway: just want to make sure that every bit of you is cared for as you go through this difficult transition. It has been traumatic and you're doing great! It is just hard... but it will get better.
xoxo
I'm sorry that you had to go through all that! I would probably cry when I talk about it too! That is traumatic. I know you will do great at the challenge!
ReplyDeleteI cry every time I think about what you'll dealing with and I am keeping my fingers crossed for the gastric sleeve. Tools are a wonderful thing and you deserve to have the use of whatever you need to get to where you want to be. I love you and can't wait to see you. XOXO *M*
ReplyDeleteI am playing catchup here on the blogs (I was on vacation!) and I just wanted to give you a big virtual hug and let you know that we are all thinking of you and are here for you with oodles of moral support! You are a much stronger woman than you realize and honestly, even with the problems you had with your band, you have been so successful and you should be so proud of yourself!!!
ReplyDeleteYou can do it! Just keep the positive attitude and things will start looking up.
ReplyDelete