something may or may not be wrong with my band...

***Warning- looooong post!***

I had an appointment with my surgeon yesterday for a fill. I haven't had good restriction, well really, any restriction for about a year now. Since being in the green zone and losing my primo restriction I've had 4 fills and still no change in whatsoever. Lose as a goose! 

I am fortunate. I have great insurance that allows me to have my fills under floro. Yesterday was fill #7 and I have had 6 of 7 under floro. Everytime (except yesterday) my band and everything else looked text book perfect under x ray. I do have to say that last fill was 3cc's a really big girl fill and my doc was perplexed as to why I wasn't feeling a difference in restriction right away (he floro'd me drinking the chalky stuff that time as well). He thought it might just take a day or two to actually kick in, he was almost concerned that I might be back soon for an unfill if it really kicked in and encouraged me to come right away for that unfill if I had any reflux or acid at all. Well, the big girl January fill never kicked in so here it is May and I decided to go try for some more fill.

So I get there and my surgeon is still at the hospital so his partner in lap-banding (Dr. L, but I like to call him Dr hubba-hubba) took on my fill. Dr. L has done my fills before and I trust both Dr.s in this practice. They are both very qualified, maybe even over qualified and I trust them completely. I have had a great experience with them and all of the employees.

Oh, yeah- this isn't a testimonial so you are probably thinking get on with the dang story!

Sorry...  I ramble.

Anywhooo, Dr L comes in we have a quick exchange of jokes and laughs, I fill him in on where I am with my restriction (um, zero) and how much fill I already have and that I got 3cc last time...blah, blah, blah, so he looks at the x-ray of my band, raves that it look bee-u-ti-ful! great position, angle of the dangle and etc. He proceeds to have me drink the chalky fluid so he can see fluid going through my band... here is where things go south. Well maybe and maybe not. I can't really explain what it looked like but it was different than anything I had ever seen... the fluid looked like it went over my band (impossible I know!) and then some of it puddled just below... oh, and some of it went through and down just like it is supposed to. Dr L was perplexed. 2 big cups of chalky fluid, many x rays, head scratching, and changing of positions later, adding another 1cc, taking that cc out and the 3cc from my last fill out, then back in, and he determined he would take out my big girl fill and refer me for an endoscopy ASAP. He said he doesn't think my band is slipped (yay!). He said he has no idea why we are seeing what we are seeing. (boo) Every thing he tried and the x ray showed the same strange happenings. He mentioned that he has never seen a band come "un buckled" so he wasn't sure if that is what is looking at or not. He really had no idea what the heck it all meant. He just has a feeling something isn't right. Honestly, after my last fill of 3cc's I was a little worried that something was wrong as well- really, how could i get that big of a fill and not feel a difference at all. The weird part of all of this is I have had no problems with my band whatsoever! No acid reflux, no PB, no stuck episodes, no pain in my band or port... just the best experience imaginable so far... so yeah, I am freaked out, confused, angry, sad, and most of all anxious. The next available appointment for the upper GI is May 20!
After hearing all of this I went to my car, tried to start driving home but pulled over and cried my little eyes out after about half a block.

After crying I thought geez, I'm hungry I'll just stop at 7-11 and get some chips since this is the begining of the end anyway. But alas, common sense and will power still reign in my brain- I did not stop at any convience store. I grabbed my phone to call in some support. I tried my sister- no answer. I tried Amey in Idaho- no answer. I called Maria- no answer. Dang it. Maybe chips will work after all.... and then my angel Amey called back (she was at the gym when I called- yay Amey!). I was so relieved to be able to tell her about it instead of just eating it all. I was about to hit a fast food drive through when the phone rang. She talked me off the ledge and I'm so blessed to count her as my friend. It was comforting to share my fears with her and just get it all out. After talking with her on the phone I tried to call my hubby to convince him to take me out to dinner so I wouldn't have to cook, but he didn't answer the phone so I just went home. We ate at home and I ate sensibly. I didn't stop and get my favorite wine (another problem for me when I use it for stress relief) and so I think even with all of the stress and anxiety caused by this new development (whatever it might be) with my band I think I can say I was successful (so far) in dealing with it.

I've been a little teary today at times thinking about the possibility of losing my band- even the possibility is freaking me out (and my doctor didn't even say that it was a possibility- he doesn't know what the deal is yet). I feel anxious about having to wait 2 and a half weeks to have the upper gi, and really know anything--and I'm not even sure that we will know anything at that point.

The one good thing is that Dr. L said ..."don't worry, we will get it figured out, it will be okay..." and I do believe him.

So, if any of you have any sage wisdom to offer or any questions you think I need to ask my surgeon please let me know- I am ppen to suggestions and trying really hard not to freeek out!

BTW, eating as normal today (of course since he took 3cc's out).
Oh, and if any of you were wondering I was at 10cc in my 11cc band (my doc said he can go up to 14cc in the band though). Dr. L took out 3cc so now I am right around 7cc in my 11 cc band. I think it was at about 5.5 or so that I had perfect restriction (from about 3 months out to 7 months out).

Alright, I guess it is time to end this long post, but I seriously am open to hearing your thoughts and suggestions...